Silver Light
by scarsandsparkles
Summary: Set right after Clockwork Prince, rated for later lemons. I try and answer the burning questions we have until Clockwork Angel, and play out the romance of Jem and Tessa. first fic, please R


**Okay so this is my first fanfic, I just didn't feel that there was any about Jem and Tessa that I was happy with so I'm making my own. It starts a week or so after Clockwork Prince. If you have any suggestions about where the story can go please review and tell me, I've got some ideas of my own but yours are so very appreciated and ill try and stick them in somewhere :)**

TPOV

_ His arms closed around me, catching me in his iron grip. I struggled against them, trying to free myself, to escape to the safety of another set of arms. I could see Jem standing there, 10 yards away but he couldn't see me, He didn't understand what was happening or surely he would have come to my aid. As much as I yelled his name he took no notice. The arms gripped me tighter as I struggled and I managed to scratch at the body they belonged to them hard enough that they released me momentarily. I turned to see who those arms belonged to. Nate. His face startled me, he was dead, he was gone, wasn't he? But no, here he was trying to take me away. He lunged for me and I clawed at him again, tearing open the fabric of his shirt. My nails never caught flesh though. Under the thin layer of cloth was only a metal chest. All of a sudden time slowed and I could hear the quiet tick-tock of the mechanisms inside my automaton brother working to help him move swiftly after me as I ran for Jem. I wasn't fast enough and I could feel the vice-like grip of his hands digging into my arms, pulling me back as I screamed Jem's name, and then he was yelling back to me..._

"Tessa! Tessa! Miss Tessa please stop struggling you'll only strangle yourself with these sheets!" My eyes jumped open, my body startled into consciousness. It was a dream. My brother was dead. I was safe. I was safe.. "Sophie. I'm sorry, I hope I didn't wake you. My nightmares seem to be back."

"Don't apologize miss, I was on my way to help you dress - breakfast should be ready soon - but then I heard you screaming, yelling master Jem's name, and I thought he might be hurt. He was standing outside your door with a rather worried look on his face when I came rushing in. You gave the poor boy quite a fright miss."

Oh no, I really had been yelling... I can't imagine what he must have been thinking, torn between his gentlemanly nature insisting he should never come into my room without my inviting him, and his concern for me. "Is Jem alright?" I ask Sophie as she helps me out of my tangled sweaty sheets. "Yes yes, I'll go assure him while you get cleaned up. I'll come back in a moment to help you dress miss." "Thank you Soph," I reply as she heads back into the hall. I hear her murmured words of comfort to Jem, and then I hear his door shut.

I go to my washstand and splash my face with cool water and wipe the sweat from my neck. Sophie returns and opens my wardrobe drawing out a lovely white and creme dress that Charlotte had made for me. "Thank you Sophie," I break the silence, "I'm sorry, I just can't seem to get one single good nights rest." She smiles gently as she begins to help me into my underclothes and dress, "I understand miss, it hasn't been a very easy time for any of us, but you'll get through it. You are safe." I cringe at her words. It is true it hasn't been easy for everyone, so many things changing so quickly, but I feel I've been dealing with it all the worst out of everyone.

Once I'm dressed and Sophie has put up my hair, in the loose way that still allows my dark waves to fall across my shoulders the way Jem likes. Of course he has never said as much, It wouldn't be proper to speak of the way he likes to see my hair brushing against my skin. However, I can tell from the way he lightly touches it when I greet him in the hallway a minute later that I am right.

"Hello Tessa" he greets me as I step out of my room, a few moments after Sophie left to help set the table. He must have been waiting for me and his eyes grow a little brighter at the sight of me, an easy smile spreading across his face. "Good morning Jem" I greet him, "I'm sorry if I worried you earlier . . . I just. . ." I trail off, embarrassed. "Nightmares?" He asks, of course he knows I have them. I know that he does too, though not quite as frequently.

He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me to him, hugging me, gently pressing his face into my hair. I wrap my arms around his neck and we stand like that for a moment, happy in each other's arms. Happy to be safe and together, even me, although I still have some confused feelings inside. I truly am happy to be with Jem, he is courting me properly now that we are engaged, although he remains never anything but a perfect gentleman. He pulls away to kiss me, and I can feel him smile as our lips meet. I can't help but smile back as he pulls away and clears his throat, barely managing to cover up his elation. "Shall we go down to the dining room then? We've certainly kept them all waiting.." he holds out his arm, and I don't hesitate to grab hold of it as we head towards the smell of food.

When we arrive and sit down at the table Will and Charlotte are having an argument about some sort of demon infestation in a small village a little ways from here. Henry is muttering to himself, "Ambrose, Maxwell, Ezra, no no no.." I suppose he is trying out names for his soon to be son. Cecily is sitting next to Will, staring at her plate. It's a little strange having her here. She spends all her time with Will, never really talking to anyone. Because Will is so occupied reuniting with his sister however, me and Jem have had plenty of time to ourselves. Almost every day we have gone out on some sort of outing, visiting churches or sweet little parks. We still have to train though. Neither Jem nor Will has yet completed their training but Charlotte and Gidgeon have been spending time with all of us, including Sophie, in the training room. Cecily is a quick learner, but after every session so far she has left the room immediately and disappeared to her bedroom. Henry is very preoccupied with some sort of invention or other. All his new ideas revolve around the baby growing inside Charlottes belly. A crib to rock itself and a device to transmit sounds from one room to a device in another.

Charlotte herself seems to be glowing in happiness. I can't say that I feel much differently. I still have a flutter in my stomach when I see Will, but not every time. I've really come to love Jem more and more each day and though Will has been scarce, he too seems to be avoiding my gaze less and less and he no longer gets tense when he sees me and Jem together. I think he may be actually happy for us, or at least for his _parabati_.

I don't say much during dinner, I wouldn't have much to add to the conversation. Its mostly Will interrupting Charlottes plan for ridding the small hamlet of demons with ridiculous ideas even he couldn't possibly think would work. I just sit and eat and smile, enjoying the company of this strange new family I find myself a part of. When we've finished, it has been decided that Will, Jem, and Gidgeon will head out and see what they can do.

It makes me nervous to see Jem come into the drawing room a while later in his shadowhunter gear. Something jabs inside me and I realize it is fear, I am afraid for his safety, more than Will's or Gidgeon's. I stand up when I see him and run to wrap my arms around him. "Please be careful, Jem" I tell his shoulder, and I feel him chuckle. I look up and see his eyes shining with a silver light, "I always am, Tessa dear, you know that. I'll be back, we all will. You must remember this is not the first time I have done this." He kisses me softly, but the kiss deepens as my mouth opens to his and his tongue explores my mouth.

"Ahem, I think it really is time we head out if we want to be back in time for dinner, and I do hate to miss meals, James." Will is standing in the doorway dressed ready for a fight, twirling a knife casually in one hand. "Yes yes okay, I'm sorry Will." Jem seems embarrassed, and he isn't the only one. I let go of him hesitantly. "Good bye Jem, I'll see you when you get back... Good luck." and I kiss him once more, quickly but I hope he feels all the meaning I try and put behind it. I'll be waiting, I'll be worried, please don't let Will talk you into doing anything stupid.

He seems to have heard me and he smiles, pressing my hand before turning to follow Will to the carriage that is waiting for them outside. I go back to my room and try to distract myself with the books. Jem has been buying them for me, finding some of my favorites in mundane bookshops around London. They don't distract me though, only remind me of how dear he has become to me.

**I hope you liked it, Please review! I want to know what I can do better! Also what you think of my portrayal of the characters. **


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